To doubt about your sexual orientation is like having doubts about your height or skin color. It’s difficult to doubt about what one feels or what attracts you. If a man likes women he will most likely not feel any sensation when a man appears, however handsome the man might be.

But if a woman or a man feels attracted by someone of the same sex what happens? They might feel the burden of thousands of years of rejection, or the thought that they are feeling something shameful or sinful might appear, or they might think that they will disappoint their family or that they might be sidelined because of these feeling.

A characteristic that shouldn’t be hidden

But no-one can fool himself, what is, is, and sooner or later it will gain so much power over the person that however much he might try to hide it, it will become more and more obvious.

There are people who still conceive human beings as creatures with similar evolutionary features as farm mice, and who keep on positing homophobe positions about deficits in maturation or other similar theories.

However, in reality these are the same people who in other eras denied women or black people equal rights. They think that the same law of nature applies to tropical frogs, or Swiss Spruces, as to humans. Trapped in their dogma, they try to “cure” and therefore impede happiness, by creating a major neurosis in the person who has a different sexual orientation.

And they don’t know how much pain it causes a young adolescent to be evaluated in this way, and to be told that it is not normal, after just having discovered their homosexuality.

It is not a psychological problem

Homosexuality and bisexuality are not moral or psychological problems. They are realities that have a genetic base, in the same way that one can have blue or brown eyes, and they appear in about 10% of the population. What differs is how one interprets these realities.

Damián Ruiz
Psychologist (COPC)
Jungian Analyst (IAAP)
Barcelona