{"id":3022,"date":"2025-05-27T08:18:27","date_gmt":"2025-05-27T08:18:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/damianruiz.eu\/?p=3022"},"modified":"2025-05-27T08:18:27","modified_gmt":"2025-05-27T08:18:27","slug":"homosexuality-homoeroticism-homoaffectivity-homophobia-ego-dystonic-homosexuality-and-homosexual-obsessive-compulsive-disorder-hocd","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/damianruiz.eu\/en\/homosexuality-homoeroticism-homoaffectivity-homophobia-ego-dystonic-homosexuality-and-homosexual-obsessive-compulsive-disorder-hocd\/","title":{"rendered":"Homosexuality, Homoeroticism, Homoaffectivity, Homophobia, Ego-Dystonic Homosexuality, and Homosexual Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (HOCD)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dami\u00e1n Ruiz<\/span><\/p>\n

If there’s one thing therapeutic experience provides \u2014 in my case, over thirty years \u2014 it\u2019s the opportunity to observe the vast range of nuances in human beings. In my view, these nuances are what create the diversity of life and make interactions between people far richer.<\/span><\/p>\n

That\u2019s why I wanted to write an article with such a long title, focused specifically on the male condition.<\/span><\/p>\n

Let\u2019s start with what is most evident and understandable to everyone: <\/span>homosexuality<\/b>, which is sexual attraction to people of the same sex (between 5% and 8% of the Western male population identifies as homosexual or bisexual), is a reality across all societies, cultures, and historical periods. Its visibility depends exclusively on a society\u2019s level of tolerance.<\/span><\/p>\n

This is a <\/span>biological minority condition<\/b> of the human species. There is no need to search for triggering psychological causes. The percentage remains constant throughout history.<\/span><\/p>\n

But let\u2019s focus on the concept of <\/span>homo-sexuality<\/b>. Why? Because <\/span>not every homosexual person<\/b> who behaves as such has fully integrated <\/span>homoaffectivity<\/b>. What does that mean? In some cases, there is a split between sexual behavior and emotional capacity, such that life may be guided by compulsion without the ability to form stable emotional bonds with another person of the same sex. A percentage of gay men spend their lives seeking new sexual partners without \u201cdaring\u201d to establish a genuine romantic relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n

Homoeroticism<\/b>, on the other hand, is a condition found among men who develop an erotic bond not necessarily involving sex \u2014 it may be limited to affectionate contact and caressing, without engaging in what we might define as strictly sexual acts. This kind of relationship occurs in men who are closer to bisexuality or active heterosexuality but experience erotic attraction to the same sex. Homoeroticism has also been expressed in art not only by homosexual men but also by heterosexual ones, such as the Austrian artist Egon Schiele (1890\u20131918).<\/span><\/p>\n

It’s worth mentioning the <\/span>Klein Sexual Orientation Grid (KSOG)<\/b>, one of the most comprehensive tools developed to measure sexual orientation, which evaluates how certain dimensions of sexuality shift over time.<\/span><\/p>\n

As for <\/span>homoaffectivity<\/b>, it should ideally be present in all homosexuals who have accepted their identity. But it can also occur between heterosexual men, creating a type of closeness or bond that is non-erotic yet deeply affectionate toward a male companion or friend.<\/span><\/p>\n

In advanced and liberal societies \u2014 as most Western ones have been until now \u2014 these realities are relatively common, though often manifesting in intimate and socially less visible ways.<\/span><\/p>\n

Between <\/span>6% and 10% of men<\/b>, according to certain studies (e.g., <\/span>A Critical Study of the Homoerotic Experience in Two Latin American Investigations on Male Sex Work<\/span><\/i>, by Porfirio Miguel Hern\u00e1ndez Cabrera, Universidad Aut\u00f3noma de la Ciudad de M\u00e9xico), have had <\/span>homoerotic or homoaffective experiences<\/b>, without engaging in actual sex and without identifying as gay.<\/span><\/p>\n

Now let\u2019s move on to <\/span>homophobia<\/b>.<\/span><\/p>\n

I must admit that, as a therapist, when I come across a younger or middle-aged man who viscerally rejects or despises homosexuality, I always become suspicious (and I\u2019m not referring to someone suffering from <\/span>HOCD<\/b>). Intense homophobia could, in some cases, be linked to <\/span>strongly repressed latent homosexuality<\/b> (Adams, H. E., Wright, L. W., & Lohr, B. A. (1996). <\/span>Is homophobia associated with homosexual arousal?<\/span><\/i> Journal of Abnormal Psychology). The film <\/span>American Beauty<\/span><\/i> (Sam Mendes, 1999) is a good illustrative example of such cases.<\/span><\/p>\n

The <\/span>homophobe<\/b> connects <\/span>masculinity<\/b> and <\/span>sexual orientation<\/b> because they have not yet integrated the idea that a man who is attracted to other men can possess a defined virility and a typically \u201cmasculine\u201d profession. Clearly, there are also homosexual or bisexual individuals in the military, professional sports, emergency services, or security, among others \u2014 well outside the stereotypes linked to \u201ceffeminacy.\u201d Homosexuality can present itself in <\/span>hundreds of different ways<\/b>, many of which have nothing to do with sensitivity, aesthetic taste, or effeminate behavior.<\/span><\/p>\n

Of course, anyone has the right to dislike certain groups, but when the <\/span>anger is excessive<\/b>, we must ask ourselves from a psychological point of view: <\/span>what is being hidden<\/b>?<\/span><\/p>\n

Now to the topic of <\/span>Homosexual Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (HOCD)<\/b>.<\/span><\/p>\n

If you’re <\/span>constantly doubting<\/b> whether or not you’re attracted to men, that\u2019s a <\/span>clear sign that you are not<\/b>. Why? Because when something cannot take root in your thoughts or emotions, it\u2019s because <\/span>it doesn’t belong to your genuine interests<\/b>. We don\u2019t endlessly question things we truly desire or enjoy.<\/span><\/p>\n

In my practice, when someone comes to therapy with this issue, I always ask the same questions:<\/span><\/p>\n