Transformation

Damián Ruiz

I have a problem, and it is that everything strikes me as very old-fashioned. It is not a question of age; I have always viewed life through that particular lens.

A society that needs to evolve

It seems terribly outdated to me to live surrounded by exhaust pipes that pollute, by divorces conducted with knives drawn, by the constant shouting of children — the offspring of parents who still have not realised that the species has evolved —, by the stale traditionalism that continually feeds upon itself by doing exactly the same things over and over again, by the fact that some young people still have to explain their sexual orientation while waiting to see how those around them will react, by the excessive emotionalisation of certain trivialities, by the lack of pragmatism when it comes to making important decisions, by living under the tyranny of “what will people say?” (something very outdated indeed), by transgenerational loyalty that sacrifices genuine personality, or by fanatical idolisation, something only justifiable during adolescence.

The “petit bourgeois” traditionalism — sometimes I wonder whether these professional middle classes, to which I supposedly belong, derive anything at all from everything with which they have nourished themselves culturally, books, films, exhibitions and so forth, that might serve to alter even slightly the inertia of their lives — and that of the working classes, which can also become tyrannical towards those who display a little more independence.

Freedom as personal transformation

I should state for the record my existential optimism, something that has accompanied me even through the worst moments, but I cannot help thinking that, at this stage in the history of our species, we are still so basic in the way we approach life. It is true that we need human community, emotional bonds and routines that give our lives structure, but none of this can become a form of servitude. One has the right to come and go, to feel or to cease feeling, to free oneself from patterns into which one does not fit, and to question important aspects of life.

And I say all this from a rather conservative and institutionalist position. I am not particularly in favour of meaningless lives, nor of adults who remain adolescents, but there is a considerable difference between that and allowing existence to proceed like a tram running along its tracks.

Embracing change and questioning old patterns

We possess the capacity to transform ourselves, to accept change both in ourselves and in others, to be cognitively flexible and to be guided more by our own ethics than by inherited moral platitudes which, on many occasions, serve only to provide quiet satisfaction to covert narcissists occupying positions of hierarchical dominance.

Expressing affection without fear

It is also important to be less afraid of expressing our affections — it is worth remembering that not everything is about sex. What I mean is that it is entirely possible to care deeply for someone of one’s own sex or of the opposite sex, to express those feelings openly, and for there to be no sexual connotation whatsoever. I write this because everything has become so laden with hysteria that soon we shall no longer know how to communicate, least of all with strangers.

The right to reinvent yourself

Ultimately, it is never too late to become a little freer and to live with greater independence, which does not imply abandoning responsibilities or ceasing to be affectionate towards those who need it most.

At any age, we are capable of introducing important changes, and these often begin with a different way of seeing things and, above all, with the respect we owe ourselves when dissenting from what is considered the majority view, whether within the family or in society at large.

The right to reinvent oneself will soon become a necessity, and that will require a degree of ease, self-knowledge and existential creativity.

Damián Ruiz
Barcelona, July 2026
www.damianruiz.eu